I can confirm that it rained on Saturday. The pitch was wet, very wet. Perfect for el slide.
After I can imagine a brief pitch inspection which involved contemplating the alternative plans for our Saturday afternoon - “No mate, I don’t want to spend my afternoon in Ikea” - we cracked on with setting the pitch up ready for a classic Sussex - Surrey border clash between two colossal all male units.

The game started with your usual sparring with a ‘who’s got the bigger dick’ technical standoff. Rudgwick started to get the upper hand, and secured a penalty decision their CB incorrectly identified Kizzas shin as his own broken hopes and dreams and produced a ‘stonewall’ foul.

Mark Blick stepped up to the plate, subsequently missed. Mark will get a chance to atone moments later after a less ‘stonewally’ peno decision from ‘Bridgy’ (the ref, who I’ve never met before). Mark has got some heat from inland revenue for declaring the penalty spot as his second home. Two words. Tax implications. Downgraded holidays.
Blick puts the ball the other side. 1-0.
I’m not really bothered about what Westcott did in this game - 1-1.

Half time rolls around in a similar fashion to this rainstorm - inevitable and moist.

Second half - M.Blick slots from wide into bottom bin left. (I’m going to speed this up, bored)
Steve Blick (SD, Steve Dick) scores a sensational solo goal from out wide, LB falls so far behind he loses a year of his life. Tough time for the lad.
Kizza then decides to defy physics with an outside of the foot swervy chippy technical strike which hits net with pleasure.
Westcott scored at some point - 4-2. 18 mins left
After a fair wobble, Westcott score two and we end at 4-4.

Are there worse teams than Westcott, yes. Do I like them as people, no. I’ve forgotten my point.

Inquisition begins into thrown away lead. Words are said, time elapses, everyone makes up.
Shower update - they lacked pressure.

Player ratings -
Christian Williams (9/10) - a cross between Andy Ruiz and David De Gea. Brilliant goalkeeping display.

Simon Lockwood (7/10) - Solid display, retro boots.

Dan Baker (7/10) - el capitan with some key defensive play. Good shift.

Shane Cholwich (7/10) - He thought he was terrible. I didn’t.

Andrew Whitworth (7/10) - An ever present, sensational brow. Dealt with things.

Joe Berwick (7/10) - enthusiasm and work rate is always high, v. enjoyable.

Graeme Sosna (9/10) - did some ugly defensive stuff very well and some shit running for his balding CM colleague.

Paul Walshe - I hate my hairline.

Steve Blick (8.5/10) - very strong game. Beat each LB he had to play against. Great goal. Unlucky not to be MOM

Mark Blick (7/10) - scores goals. Worked hard.