Capel Firsts Vs Rudgwick FC
Malcolm Simmonds Cup – First Round
28/09/2019
Bare Green Playing Field
15:00 KO
 
 
Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? Nay, I shall compare thee to an attempted bicycle kick clearance in our penalty area; unnecessary, poorly executed but above all, a joy to behold. A tough away fixture in what was yet another opportunity for this young, spurring Rudgwick side to pick up silverware this season. Just as Isildur sealed the fate of man by slicing off Sauron’s finger, Rudgwick themselves would see to it that they too would be cut off, from the next round that is.
The usual warm up started in good spirits, rondo in full flow. The increasingly soiled WOTW shirt sported by Shane Cholwich this week, at least it won’t be as tight on the next unfortunate soul.

The score line in these matches tends not to matter too much, when you lose 6-0. Instead, we like so focus on the more hilarious events that took place; future WOTW Andrew Whitworth will tell you the same, that is, when he plucks himself out of the ditch that snuck up on him. Like the French during WW2 his flag was the only thing brave enough to raise its’ head above the parapet, only his flag was yellow and orange.

Speaking of linesman, the opposition’s official seemed to want to start a war of his own, selecting his foe extremely poorly. As Obi Wan said to Anakin on that fateful day on Mustafar; “don’t try it” roared from Archer’s eyes as the plucky, yet misguided flag bearer took up arms against Rudgwick’s own Achilles. His fate was all but sealed until the valiant Ian Matthews wrestled the mixed martial artist away from the scrap as only a teacher knows how. A foe turned friend, the afflicted official chooses to save Archer from the fiery depths of the changing room for prematurely ejected players, respect.

A LIFELINE! The valiant Rudgwick are awarded a soft penalty, some my say this is as a direct result of the ref waving away a clear case of GBH in the box previously to deny what was a granite wall of a penalty earlier on in the game. Mark Blick steps up and just like the current state of affairs that surround the UK’s political issues, he failed to deliver.

At this point, the game is gone. A childish mind cuts a larger figure on the sideline as Rudgwick’s own Fridge Freezer tries to temp fate with some heinous screaming in an attempt to lure the old WOTW shirt back to it’s rightful owner. Alas, our fearful leader, Ian Matthews rescues him from himself with a long and lengthy speech about how we were playing on a Saturday and not on a Sunday. After he had mastered the Gregorian calendar once and for all, the once spunky Shane Cholwich quietly retired to tend to his wounds that had solidified his early exit from the game.

All in all, a weekend got forget for this Rudgwick side. As a Phoenix rises from the ashes, so too, this talented group of players shall come back stronger to fight another day.

MOTM - Josh Archer
WOTW - Andrew Whitworth